Pay It Forward

We are all unique and all have a unique world view and definition of reality..

2011-01-29T17:45:00.000-08:00

Setiap orang memiliki bentuk pribadi yang berbeda2, itu karena sejalan dengan perkembangan pikiran dan ajaran2 yang didapat dari kecil hingga dewasa…ataupun karena pengalaman2 yang sudah dilewati…

tiap pribadi punya pemikiran sendiri, dimana kadang dan juga sering orang lain tidak bisa mengikuti ataupun sejalan dengan pendapat masing2…

Ada satu pendapat yang menurut A adalah prinsipil dan bisa dianggap salah oleh A bila melanggar, tapi ternyata B menanggapi sebaliknya.. ataupun sebaliknya B bilang itu tidak benar tapi A berpendapat benar …

Yang akhirnya ternyata tidak bisa dipertemukan.. karena masing2 memiliki keyakinan bahwa itu benar buat mereka…kenapa harus dipermasalahkan?

Lantas..dengan begitu sebenarnya batas salah atau benar adalah tergantung pendapat dan kepercayaan masing2 pribadi? Benarkah?

Mungkin tidak perlu sedrastis antara salah dan benar… untuk pendapat apakah layak dan tidak .. tiap pribadi mempunyai pendapat yg berbeda juga… kadang bisa ditemukan titik temunya, tapi ada juga yang tidak…

Kadang perbedaan bisa menjadikan suatu argumentasi yang panjang.. ataupun menjadi pertengkaran… sampai akhirnya harus dihentikan…. untuk menghindari keributan yang lebih jauh...

Tapi dengan begitu.. memberi akibat ada perasaan yang mengganjal.. yang tidak selesai…dan kadang menimbulkan pertanyaan…apakah saya orang yang aneh ?.. yang tidak umum? Kenapa saya tidak bisa atau tidak mau begitu ? kenapa banyak orang seperti itu dan saya merasa aneh kalau itu dianggap wajar ?

Apakah karena perbedaan2 itu membuat kita perlu mempunyai rasa tepo seliro ke sesama ? kita tidak boleh memaksakan pendapat bahwa apa yang kita yakini benar ke orang lain dan tidak boleh melarang orang lain berbuat apa yang menurut mereka benar? Lantas, sebatas apa tepo seliro ke orang lain yang masih dianggap wajar ? apakah tepo seliro itu harus mengesampingkan rasa yang tidak enak di hati nurani , dengan membenarkan tindakan2 yang menurut hati nurani tidak benar ? ataukah harus tutup mata, telinga dan hati ?

………..

Maaf kalau ada tulisan yang tidak berkenan.. ini hanyalah sesuatu yang sedang jadi pemikiran … dan masih belum tahu jawabannya…

Atau mungkin memang tidak perlu ada jawaban… karena sekali lagi .. masing2 pribadi memiliki keyakinan dan pendapat sendiri…

30 Jan 2011

Society evolves not by shouting each other down, but by the unique capacity of unique, individual human beings to comprehend each other. Lewis Thomas (1913 - 1993)

Another ignorance person??

2010-04-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

raining day , peak hours, mrt pack of peoples... not much different ..
standing inside mrt and make little bit space between people that what everyday I do...
but today, a man who was standing behind me is really annoying !!
i have already standing very near to the sitting place .. but can feel his back touch my back !
next thing what I can do.... move my bag to back side ... he only turned and still not move forward, eventhough there is some extra space infront of him !! Uuurggh !!

so.. hold my temper... don't say anything.. hold.. and hold..
reaching red-hill mrt.. can see some space infront of the door.. quickly i moved there and use my elbow to bang on him ... *purposely* hehehe...

now can stand without touching other people. I turn to "see" him, how is his position..
he has alottt of space infront of him!! why didn't he just move abit???
or maybe i am really an invisible lady ??

*friday morning in East West bound train.. 16th April.

Family = best place to share and learn good things

2009-06-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

I have some interesting conversations with one of taxi driver. We chatted about how is the teenager nowdays.
1). Ignorance
2). Selfish
3). Dress-up without respect to themself
4). Complain about work, school, etc
5). When come to work , expects high salaries with low responsibility

Uncle- taxi driver said, that is because the parents spoilt them. Both parents work and only see their kids at night and weekend. Not much time to share with family. Parents do not want their kids bother them, so whatever kids want and ask, they will give.
Part of it, yes, we agreed about that.

But what about when the kids around and gather with their parents? Kids also learn from what their parents do and don’t. I can see some of the Mothers/Fathers, could not stand with their kids, so end-up scolded them or pinched them when they are naughty or even when they asked too many questions.
So, it is not about how little time can spend with kids, but it is the values to spend with the kids. I have friends who are very patient with their kids, always listening what is her son/daughter talking when they get together. And tell them nicely to say “NO” to their kids, with low tone of voices and just give some reason why can not and why not.
Also I saw a mother with 2 kids (around 2 years and below 1 year) inside train, she was playing with them for the whole journey. It is nice to see how her kids so happy.
Most of the time, in public places often I see parents shouted to their kids and even shouted to their baby…. oh, my God, why they did that?

We can not blame when both parents are working. Nothing wrong to prepare kids to have a better future by giving good home, foods and good education.
The important is when they have time to spend with their kids, they should spend with a good “values”.

The uncle- taxi driver also gave another reason, why for some families will have a good kids. He said depends on what is the religion. We do not agree about this.
For me, all religions or beliefs are good, why? Because all teach the good things to us.
But everything will come back to each person, how they want to live and life . And again, the foundation will start from family.

What do you think?

Left or right side?

2009-05-31T20:48:00.000-07:00

Until now I am still confusing when walking on the public places. Such as sidewalk, mrt stairs , underpass or shopping centre.
When I walk at the left side, the opposite will walk at their right side, so I have no choice has to move to right side... and vice versa. Noticed for some places, they put a sign "keep left side during peak hours", but peoples still walk at the right side.

When I look at the road, cars will be at the left side of the road, by right when walking should be at the left side too??

Am I the only one that confusing here?

Rude Teenager

2009-05-28T02:38:00.000-07:00

I was boarding at LRT from Choa Chu Kang, saw one lady with her few shopping bags.
She walked in, and wanted to sit the nearby seating place. One boy walked so fast, overtake her, and sit on the place that the lady was going to sit.
Instead of giving the seat to the lady but the boy was staring at her.
How rude is that! sigh...

To all teenager out there, please do not do that!

Ooops..

2009-05-22T00:36:00.000-07:00

Talking about lift, seems like never ending story..
in the morning - rush hours, was waiting for lift at B2, there is a lady stand infront of me.
While the lift stopped at B1, the lady kicks the lift door!

Not sure what happen to her, she looks like rushing and could not wait for little longer and looks like not feeling well. But why she has to kick the lift door? and if she does not feel well, stay at home... or if could not wait, please take the escalator ...

It is not the lift doors fault ... please don't kick ...

Pay It Forward

2009-05-21T19:13:00.001-07:00

What does it means of “Pay it forward” ? It is just a simple words but have a big meaning. If you all know about the Pay It Forward Movie, how is from one person can make big changes to others. Just do one a simple good thing to other people, other people can do another good thing to other people, and will be similar to a multi marketing level concept. The only different we will get a positive feedback instead of $$$. In the “real world” we can not ask other people to help another people, what we can do is to start with our self and start within our small family.

Why do we need to start to do that? If you can feel, nowdays a lot of peoples become ignorance, selfish, inconsiderate to others. They only think about themselves and does not care with others.

Take a look on below incidents:

1). When you are queueing in front of people, you do not notice if there is someone behind you. What will happen? you walked back or you step on people’s toes ! and then you noticed that there is somebody behind you.

2). When you are boarding to the train, very pack of peoples, in front of you already stand very close with other, so no more space left. But what you did? You keep moving or push people in front of you, something like the person is invisible.

3). When you are queueing in food store or cashier, you just joined the Q but with the loud voices ordered the food or pass your things to pay, does not care if there is someone in front of you even have not ordered ! Again, you think that no one there (invisible).

4). Worst case, when there is a pregnant woman, elderly people or other people that need to have a seat more than you, while you are sitting, pretend that you do not see them !

5). It just happened again, I was queueing in food store, suddenly there is a lady cut my queue and when I ordered the food , she is yelling at me! She thinks that she was in front of me so she should order first . Am I invisible??

Aren’t that very bad ? That was from my own experience.

If you want to know more about the bad things how people do nowadays, take for few examples from another part of world:

1). You felt sorry with other and want to help because you see the condition of one of family. You let them to rent your house with low-monthly rent . What happen next? The family does not take care your house and cause some damages and does not want to replace or refuse to pay.

2). You have already suffer with some family problems but your office’s colleagues talk bad things about you. They do not want to help instead spread some negative talks (gossiping) within each others.

3). You have some personal problems, one of your friend try to dig-out the info, not to help you but to spread to others.

What do you think about those? And I believe there are many such “bad things” around us. With those kind of bad experiences, why not we start to spread the positive behaviour to others? No need to think whether we will get any reward if we do that or whether we will get any benefit to do that.

I give some examples, from my own experience:

1). During office’s peak hours time (evening), went in to lift, it packed with peoples, and the door’s lift was unable to close because overloaded . I whispered to my friend who stand beside me with a “joke words”: “Heyy, did you eat too much during your lunch time? You see… now the lift is overloaded…hehehe..” . Few peoples heard what I said, and they are smiling. (remember 1 point = positive environment if we can see people smile). And you know what next? Someone who stand in front without any complain walked out from the lift.

Compare with this: Another day, with the same “overloaded” problem, someone at the back shouted “can someone in front step out !?” , the person in front walked out with grumbling and mumbling not happy.

Why do we need to make someone not happy to do something if we can say in a nice way?

2). I was about to pay and saw the cashier’s lady looks like having a bad day, sometimes we call it “black face”. When I approached her, first I smile at her, and you will surprise what is the affect. Suddenly her face is changed, she smiles and changed the way how she gives service to customer. She is become nicer.

3). Someone is accidentally knock on you, and he/she said “sorry”, just said “it’s ok “ and smile back.

4). There is a disable people selling tissue papers, give your little $ to buy it.

5). Give your small changes to beggar or any other person that need it. It does not hurt when you give small $ to other.

6). I bought 1 pack tissue contains 10 small packs. There was one lady, she only carry small handbag, looks like she is going to party. She only needs to get 1 pack small tissue which the shop do not sell that, she asked if she can have 1 from me and will give me $ to pay. I refused the $ and gave her 1 small pack tissue.

7). Share my knowledge with others who asked for. Some people does not want to share because they scared will lose their opportunity or people will not come back to them. This kind of mindset is wrong, we will not lose for what we have and sometimes even will get more. So, do not keep by yourself if someone asks something that you know.

8). Respect to others and more respect with your parents. Do not treat other people differently because of skin color, religious or citizenship.

9). Always say “Thank you” , to anything that people has done to you. ...

And there are much more good things that we can do. Believe me or not, you will be supprised if there will be always a way or someone will help you when you are in trouble or people (stranger) will be also nice to you.

Another few examples of good things that also happened to me:

1). During raining day, I did not carry umbrella, need to cross road. Suddenly there is a nice elderly approached me, asked “Miss, do you need any shelter ? “. He was carrying big umbrella. I was shocked because there are other peoples waiting to cross the road too but he only offer it to me.

2). Another incident about lift again ( lift is always crowded with peoples during peak hours ). When I walked toward the lift, I can see that the lift is full, seems like no more space. I was thinking, never mind I will wait the next one. There is one nice lady, she moved back and called me “come …still have a space for you”.

3). I had a kind of sort of $ due to some liabilities need to settle. Within the same month, I have received unexpected $ .

4). Inside train, there was a time that I was not feeling well, there was one empty seat in the crowded train... coincident ? maybe just my luck.

5). One day I have a meeting with customer, need to take a cab. In the same day and time , my close friend just nearby my office and her office is the same building as my customer. So she fetched me and drove to her office. In the evening, one of my customer who stay nearby my home, drive a car. So she asked me if I want to follow her back home…coincident again?

There are some more other cases, that all of those make my mind open, and give some conclusion:

- When we help and give to others, one of the day somehow will get a return, even though we do not expect that.

- Life will be much easier when persons help each other when need it.

- Spread positive behaviour, do not make difficult to others , be patient, would give a good benefit to your health.

- Good personality, good behaviours, respect to each others started from our family.

There is much more that I want to share with others, but for now just let's start to do a good thing to make a better living environment.

Please stand behind the "red" line..

2009-05-21T19:09:00.001-07:00

There is something new today.

Some of the MRT stations have changed the yellow line to red line. I guess the announcement will be changed to "please stand behind the red line..." :p not sure if the red line will be applied for all MRT stations.

Why is that so? does it means to "make" someone follows the rule, it has to be "forced" ? it does not come "automatically" from themself? or to make people understand, it has to be a "strong color" , red color = does not allow?

This gives me an idea: to make other people notice our existency, probably we need to wear a red-color clothes??

Reserved seat ?

2009-05-21T19:05:00.001-07:00

Everyday, I am using public transport - MRT , so any new thing will be easily notice.
Today there is a new sign for the seat that was written as "Priority Seat" now changed to "Reserved Seat".
It should have some reason why from Priority seat changed to Reserved seat (with bigger sign). Does it mean no more "courtesy", "considerate" or "kindness" in this place? sad if that really happens.
We will see if someone who is sitting on that seat will give up the seat for somebody else who need it? or does it mean no one allow to sit except persons who are on the sign board list?

Whatever reason behind this, should not be necessary to change the signboard if each person has a good personality and respect to others.